on 15th May 2006
Dear Friends of Alan,
Dear Friends of Bettina,
Thank you very much for attending this memorial service for Alan. Thank you for your courage to share this moment of grief. Let us take the step of bidding farewell on the route through mourning Alanís death, which will also help us to learn to live with the situation. For this purpose, let us call to mind a gleam of Alanís courage to face life and his joie de vivre, and let us be guided by them.
in my thoughts I am with you.
In musing over your death and your last days amongst us, I see three signs which seem to have characterised your life.
I will make these signs visible for you and with you, and for the circle of persons who respect and love you, here at the dividing line between life on earth and the existence in our minds.
In appreciation of your life, the signs shall make visible how you have acted as an immortal being in a mortal body.
In the course of his life, man acquires the ability to use his body as a tool. He wants to express himself by his abilities and his deeds. What strains, for example, are required for a one-year-old child to sit upright for the first time and to make its first own steps. But, soon all strain is forgotten, and it will go everywhere without thinking.
In a very distinct manner and without any external coercion whatsoever, Alan tried to further develop the powers over his body, over his strength and perseverance. In training and competition, he exhausted this experience up to the limits. He became a master in this field, not because he had to, but because his inner self sought and wanted this experience.
At the end of his life, Alan had a completely opposite experience. It was the experience of complete impotence and immobilisation in coma. Alanís personality was entrapped in the body, but this body did not permit any expressions and actions.
But, no external coercion was involved here either Ė was it his self-determined course, an experience he sought ?
In the contrast of self-determination and impotence, a wholeness is conceivable, because both experiences are part being human.
this wholeness of self-determination and impotence is your life.
The vertical line is a sign for the self-determination, with which you seized your life
and the horizontal line is a sign for your impotence, in which you were entrapped.
The warmth of the body, the beating of the heart, the breathing belong to the first manifestations of man's life when he is born into this world. But, they are also the last signs of life, with which Alan's life came to an end. His life could only be perceived by his breathing, his heart beat and his warmth of the body. He had retreated to his centre.
In a rhythm of intensification and dispersal our lives orbit around the centre:
∑ in the heart beat
∑ in breathing in and breathing out
∑ in waking up and falling asleep
∑ and finally in such a great gesture which encloses the seizing of life at birth and the relinquishing of life at death
this rhythm runs through your life. It shows us the route you as a human and as an eternal being have pursued, also beyond visible boundary. This shall be represented by the second sign:
In a very special way, Alan radiated friendly warmth and love during his life. His way of beaming was an experience which attached many people to him. We are but a small circle of people who make their appearance when thinking of Alan as being the focal point.
Every person has this capacity of love in him, concealed or open. With Alan, this capacity appeared directly and freely, genuine, lasting and powerful. It is his gift to mankind and the world, healing and connecting, because it appeals to our deep yearning for friendship and love. This was like a window to his innermost nature. Through this window we experienced Alanís nature as completeness and absoluteness.
you made your entrance to the world,
you spread your radiant nature,
you permitted us to experience something of your completeness,
you have come full circle.
And now, you have returned to your origin.
This is indicated by the third sign.
In conclusion, I would like to say the Lordís Prayer.